What to Do (and Not Do) When Children Are Anxious
Childhood anxiety is a common issue that many parents will face at some point. Whether it’s school-related, social situations, or even just everyday challenges, anxiety can manifest in many different forms for kids. As a parent or caregiver, it’s essential to understand the best ways to help children cope with anxiety and, equally as important, the things that should be avoided. This comprehensive guide will cover both the “dos” and the “don’ts” when managing anxiety in children.
When children are anxious, it is important to recognize the signs early and take proactive measures to support them. Understanding when children are anxious allows parents to provide appropriate reassurance and coping strategies.
What to Do (and Not Do) When Children Are Anxious
Parents often wonder what to do when children are anxious, and knowing effective strategies can greatly alleviate their stress.
Anxiety can be overwhelming for kids, especially when they don’t fully understand what they’re feeling or why. In this guide, we’ll explore the most effective methods to manage anxiety in children, while also addressing behaviors and reactions that may worsen the situation.
When children are anxious, validating their feelings is essential. This acknowledgment can foster a sense of security and understanding.
What to Do When Children Are Anxious
When a child is experiencing anxiety, there are several strategies parents can use to help alleviate the feeling of overwhelm and provide the support that children need. Here’s what to do:
1. Validate Their Feelings
Parents should model how to handle when children are anxious by remaining calm and composed themselves.
It’s crucial to let your child know that what they’re feeling is real and that it’s okay to be anxious. Acknowledging their emotions without judgment can help them feel understood and less alone in their experience. Avoid dismissing their feelings by saying things like “don’t worry about it” or “it’s no big deal.”
Example: “I can see you’re feeling nervous about going to school today. It’s okay to feel anxious. Let’s take a few deep breaths together.”
2. Create a Calm and Safe Environment
For children, a calm environment can significantly reduce the intensity of their anxiety. Ensure that the space is quiet, free of distractions, and conducive to relaxation. You might also use calming music, soft lighting, or comfort objects like a favorite blanket or stuffed animal to help them feel safe.
Example: Try dimming the lights, playing soothing music, or letting them cuddle with their favorite stuffed animal during moments of anxiety.
3. Teach Relaxation Techniques
Teaching your child simple relaxation exercises can help them manage anxiety in the moment. Breathing techniques are particularly effective. You can teach your child to take deep breaths by inhaling through the nose for four seconds, holding for four seconds, and exhaling for four seconds.
Example: “Let’s take a deep breath together. Breathe in through your nose, hold for a second, and then breathe out slowly. We’ll do it three times.”
When children are anxious, breaking tasks into smaller steps can help them manage their feelings more effectively.
4. Help Them Identify and Name Their Emotions-symptoms of anxiety in children
Helping children understand what they’re feeling can give them the language they need to express themselves. Encourage your child to name their emotions—whether it’s worry, fear, nervousness, or something else. By labeling these feelings, children gain a sense of control over their emotions.
Emphasizing that when children are anxious, it’s okay to seek help can empower them to express their feelings.
Example: “It seems like you’re feeling worried about tomorrow’s test. Do you want to talk about it?”
Teaching children relaxation techniques can be crucial when children are anxious, helping them to regain control.
Understanding what not to do when children are anxious can prevent exacerbating their feelings of worry.
5. Provide Reassurance Without Overdoing It
While it’s important to reassure your child that everything will be okay, it’s essential not to give them false assurances. Instead, emphasize that you will support them through the experience. Help them understand that it’s okay to feel anxious, and remind them that they’ve faced difficult situations before and made it through.
Example: “I understand you’re scared about trying the new sport, but remember last time we tried something new, it turned out well. You can do this, and I’ll be here to help.”
If you notice when children are anxious, consulting a professional can provide additional support and resources.
6. Break Tasks Into Manageable Steps
When a child is overwhelmed by a task or situation, breaking it down into smaller, more manageable steps can help them feel less anxious. Whether it’s schoolwork, social situations, or other challenges, tackling smaller parts one at a time can make the whole situation seem less daunting.
When children are anxious, parents can help by providing a sense of safety and calm to ease their worries.
Example: “Let’s focus just on the first part of your homework today, and we’ll take a break after that. Then we’ll tackle the next part together.”
7. Model Calm Behavior
Children often look to their parents for guidance on how to handle stressful situations. By staying calm in the face of anxiety, you can model appropriate coping skills for your child. Show them that it’s possible to stay composed, even when things feel overwhelming.
Example: If your child is nervous about an upcoming event, maintain a calm and positive attitude. “I’m feeling a little nervous about the meeting, but I know I can handle it.”
8. Seek Professional Help When Necessary
If your child’s anxiety is persistent, overwhelming, or significantly impairs their daily life, it may be time to seek professional help. A child therapist or counselor can provide valuable tools and support for managing anxiety.
Example: “If your worry about school continues, let’s talk to someone who can help you understand and manage your feelings better.”
What Not to Do When Your Child Is Anxious-children examples of anxiety disorders
While there are many helpful ways to support an anxious child, there are also behaviors that can inadvertently make their anxiety worse. Let’s discuss what NOT to do:
Parents should know when children are anxious that it is okay to take a step back and reassess the situation.
1. Don’t Dismiss Their Feelings as children and young people
Telling your child to “just get over it” or “don’t be scared” may unintentionally invalidate their feelings. Avoid minimizing signs of anxiety, as this can make them feel misunderstood or unsupported.
What to avoid: “There’s nothing to be afraid of, stop worrying.”
Understanding that when children are anxious, they may need reassurance without feeling overwhelmed can be vital.
2. Don’t Force Them into the Situation
While gradual exposure to fearful situations can be helpful over time, pushing a child into a situation they’re not ready for can make their anxiety worse. Forcing them to face their fears too quickly can be overwhelming and lead to more intense anxiety in the future.
What to avoid: Forcing your child to go to a party or school if they are feeling extremely anxious or unprepared.
3. Don’t Use Fear-Based Language
It’s important to avoid language that might heighten your child’s anxiety. Refrain from using statements that create fear or panic. For example, saying “If you don’t do this, something bad will happen” can increase anxiety rather than alleviate it.
What to avoid: “If you don’t go to school, you’ll fall behind and won’t be able to catch up.”
4. Don’t Overprotect Them
While it’s important to support your child, overprotecting them can prevent them from developing healthy coping skills. Shielding them from every anxious situation may make it more difficult for them to learn how to manage anxiety independently. Encourage them to face their fears at their own pace.
What to avoid: “I’ll do everything for you so you don’t have to worry about it.”
Learning about when children are anxious should involve understanding their unique experiences and feelings.
5. Don’t Bribe or Reward Anxiety Behaviors
Bribing your child to stop being anxious might seem like a quick fix, but it doesn’t address the root cause of their anxiety. It also creates an expectation that they will be rewarded for managing their emotions in a certain way. Instead, focus on supporting your child through the anxiety without offering rewards for “calming down.”
What to avoid: “If you stop being nervous, I’ll buy you a toy.”
6. Don’t Ignore Signs of Serious Anxiety
If your child’s anxiety is becoming more severe or is interfering with their daily life, it’s essential not to ignore the signs. Look for changes in behavior, such as increased irritability, withdrawal from activities, or physical symptoms like stomachaches and headaches. These may indicate that professional help is needed.
What to avoid: Ignoring your child’s complaints or dismissing their struggles as “just a phase.”
When children are anxious, parents should encourage open communication about their feelings to enhance understanding.
Being aware that when children are anxious, different approaches may be necessary for each individual child.
7. Don’t Compare Them to Others
Avoid comparing your child’s anxiety to that of others, as this can make them feel inadequate or misunderstood. Every child experiences anxiety differently, and it’s important to respect their unique emotional journey.
What to avoid: “Your friend isn’t scared of that, why are you?”
Conclusion anxiety disorders in children examples: Helping Your Child Overcome Anxiety
Dealing with childhood anxiety can be challenging, but knowing what to do—and what not to do—can make a significant difference in how your child copes. By validating their feelings, creating a calm environment, and teaching them coping techniques, you can provide the support they need to navigate their anxiety. At the same time, avoiding overprotectiveness, dismissive comments, and fear-based language ensures that their anxiety doesn’t get worse.
If you ever feel that your child’s anxiety is beyond what you can handle, don’t hesitate to seek professional guidance. A child therapist or counselor can be a valuable resource in helping both you and your child manage anxiety in healthy, productive ways.
Remember: Every child is different, and what works for one may not work for another. The key is to remain patient, supportive, and open to trying different strategies to help your child manage anxiety effectively.